I have mono.

Mono. Also known as the Kissing Disease. Or the Drink From the Water Fountain After Another Infected Person Disease. Or the I Share My Straw Too Much Disease. Whatever you want to call it, it sucks. But according to the internet, which always speaks the truth, once you get it, you won't get it again. Although, I don't know if that compensation is worth it.
This is a dramatized depiction of how I feel right now:

These biological reactions translate into equally unpleasant physical reactions.

So, all in all, I haven't found an upside to mono yet. Advice: stay away from water fountains.

Awkward Couples

Walking through campus on any normal day, one sees a lot of people. Some people you know, others you don't. Some are nice and friendly, others stare at the ground as they walk by. There are all sorts of people! Tall ones, short ones, loud ones, awkward ones, attractive ones, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish...

One of the common types people living amongst us in the BYU habitat are the Awkward Couples. There are many variants of them. You know who they are.

They could be the ones canoodling on your couch. Or maybe making out in line right in front of you. Laying on top of each other on the grassy fields. Massaging each other's backs during class. Sitting in the back row at church. They're everywhere.

Each couple has varying amounts of awkwardness to those around them. Some are exclusively awkward.

Others are overly inclusive in attempt to be considerate to their roommates.

Some of them feel like they can only speak to you when their Other Half is also present.

Some of them you LITERALLY run into on campus because they walk so slow because their hands are attached. Like, please, just take up the whole sidewalk and slow down a bit. Holding hands and walking at the same time is difficult, and nobody wants you to trip together.

Well, I don't really have anything else to say about awkward couples now, besides that they exist and their presence seems to be more prominent with the increasing with the temperature.

Two years, Four months, Nineteen days

Once upon a time, I needed braces. Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I didn't get them until I was a senior in high school. Maybe you were a senior in high school once and you can understand the situation.

On December 7th, 2010, the day came. That was the last day for two and a half years that I could eat milk duds. Or steak. Or bite into anything really. However, it was also the first day of my second childhood.

However, looking like your a little kid once more because you have braces comes with its downsides. Because, even though you look like a little kid, you can't always act like one, especially when it comes to eating foods you love and just having food in your teeth all the time. So basically, it means you have a limited diet.
The first two weeks was awful. I could only eat foods that were soft enough to chew with my tongue and the roof of my mouth (things like bread and soup), or foods that were "pre-chewed" and that you could immediately swallow upon placing in your mouth (things like already-cut-up-pasta and soggy cereal).

After a long time of living like this, on April 25 (the best date) I got my braces off!!

And now, I CAN EAT WHATEVER I WANT WHENEVER I WANT HOWEVER I WANT!!!!

Modest is Not-est

A Lesson on Modesty: Your Outsides Are More Important

            My favorite part of the gospel is modesty. I have a testimony of the importance of modesty, especially extreme modesty. I feel comforted by the fact that as my children grow up, they will be able to understand that modesty is the most important contributor to celestial glory. I know that above all else that we need to be modest “in all times, in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:9).

            In church, we believe that as long as you are being modest, it does not matter if you feel the Spirit. The most important thing is that your body is appropriately covered. It is imperative to remember that you are not being modest for yourself as a sign of respect for your own body, but in fact to be considerate to others. Other people, especially those of the male species, have no control over their own thoughts, and it is essential to their eternal salvation that the women dress modestly in order to prevent unclean thoughts from going through their heads. If they have unclean thoughts about your body, it is entirely your fault, because you are the one walking around like pornography. Put their salvation before your own; drink, break the law of chastity, do whatever you want– as long as you are dressing modestly while doing so. Bear in mind to think about ahead of time how your body is clothed in every situation, because as you move, your clothes may become displaced and show skin that is not meant to be seen. This is especially important while the deacons are passing the sacrament, because if you are a woman and they can see down your shirt as they stand over you, you become a live sex object to them while they are trying to be reverent. Try to completely control how others think- it is what Jesus would do.

            Modesty is not just a way to prevent those around you from having unclean thoughts about your body, but also to give those people a way to judge your character based on your clothing. While it is not okay to judge the actions of others, it is perfectly fine to judge others based on their modesty. 1 Samuel 16:7 teaches us to judge others based on outward appearance, not on the heart. Those who cannot dress modestly obviously do not understand that their body is a temple or that their friends’ thoughts around become unclean while around their immodesty, and it is perfectly okay to condemn them for their wrong choice in clothing. This is especially true when it comes to dressing for church. The term “Sunday best” is obsolete: girls should wear only modest dresses and men should wear only modest suits. No outfit should make your body look too good – even if it covers all the right parts – because simply looking good is also immodest, especially in the church setting. Converts should be judged based on what they wear immediately after baptism, because they should have changed their wardrobe beforehand. If you see someone who is immodest while at church, it is safe and encouraged to assume that, no, they are not struggling with an aspect of their testimony, but they instead are slowly turning into a slut. Do not associate with them at all costs, otherwise your thoughts will become impure, and you will be sucked into dressing immodestly as well. To show other people that you have a testimony and a good character, it is always a good idea to dress like a pioneer.

            I also am grateful for the standardization of modesty, so that we can all feel equal within our own bodies. You can see that modesty is the same amongst all girls, and across genders. Short girls are looked at with the same amount of disgust as tall girls while wearing a skirt higher than their knee. Girls with larger breasts can wear V-necks without an undershirt and still be modest like girls with smaller breasts. Skinny girls can wear tight clothing in the same way fat girls can. Tan girls are allowed to show the same amount of skin as white girls. Boys are sent home from stake dances when their shorts do not touch the crease behind their knees. Men are furthermore scolded while running with their shirts off in the same way that girls are criticized for running in sports bras. While hanging out at the pool, boys are not allowed to wear Speedos just like girls are not allowed to wear bikinis. Because of the blanket policy of modesty of which has no double standards, we can all save each other from having unclean thoughts and be able to righteously judge who our friends should be.

            A great example of an institution that exercises fairness in the treatment regarding modesty of males and females is Brigham Young University. The Dressing and Grooming Standards that are part of the Honor Code contains no double standards. Before taking a test, women are always asked if they have shaved their legs in the same way men are asked whether or not they have shaved their faces. Men are not allowed in the testing center or given service at the library when their shirts are so tight that you can see their pecks and their biceps are falling out. Girls can wear muscle shirts in the gym without being asked to leave. It is also wildly convenient that the Honor Code varies with season: once winter is over, it is perfectly justifiable to wear sundresses and short running shorts so you can show off your toned body modestly in the Utah desert weather. Brigham Young University is a true example of how modesty can be fairly implemented into your everyday life.

            In conclusion, I am just so thankful that we live in a society where “modest is hottest” and not “modest is not-est.” I have a testimony of being modest, especially for others. I know that I should be concerned for my own eternal welfare when those around me are dressing immodestly, and that I should be considerate to others’ eternal welfares myself by dressing modestly. I know that judging others based on their appearance is a correct principle and should be practiced, especially while fellowshipping with other ward members. I also have a testimony of the equal treatment regarding modesty within and across genders and body types. I am grateful for the Honor Code and the double standards that it does not promote. I have a sincere, strong testimony regarding all aspects of modesty, and I appreciate the blessings that it brings to my life.

The Day I Dyed

So, here's the story. Once upon a time, I really like the ombre hair that's going on right now. Like really like it. Except, I'm kind of really poor, sooo I can't pay to have it professionally done. I actually tried a lot of do-it-at-home things to get around paying for it.

Aaaand nothing was working. I seriously clicked on every Pinterest thing there is about the ombre to see what I was doing wrong. Eventually, I just gave up trying to do it myself and began justifying paying a professional to do it. Except, again, I don't have any money, so I found around the professional and figured beauty school students were close enough and significantly cheaper.
Soo, I go and make an appointment for 10am. And this is what happened for the next FIVE HOURS:
First, we had a lot of small talk, because there was a lot of waiting involved.

She washed my hair, diligently dried it, and dyed it. Then we waited, washed it out, and dried it again. This is how it turned out:

mmm. Yeah. So then her "Learning Leader" came over to help fix it. Aaand we proceeded to dye, wash, finally cut, and then dry it all over again.
And then, five hours later, it looked like this:

And this is the story of how I dyed. The End.

My Experience on the Moon

Once upon a time, you go off to college, you live in the dorms for a little bit, but then, you move up in the world, and start renting... your own apartment. Complete with roommates and appliances and wifi and parking and cable... Well, this sounds great and all, but I am here to tell you today the things that they neglected to tell me when I signed their contract at Moon Apartments.

First off, Management makes it really hard to communicate with them. Email is their primary source of contact while trying to contact you, but notsomuch when you want to contact them. Their office hours are also pretty inconvenient. So how do you talk to management? Rearrange your own personal schedule for a day so you can go into their office hours. Which even then, sometimes there's nobody there, and then you're SOL.

Speaking of cleaning checks, here is a run-down of how they happen. You get an email a few days ahead of time, but not long enough for you to plan on it when you're planning your week, saying that hooray, it's cleaning check day soon! Somewhere in the email, they tell you what time the cleaning checks will start so you know when you have to be done cleaning the apartment by. The day before, Management comes and tapes a chore list to your door. (Which, ironically, one of the chores on this list is to take all the tape on your front door off. Gee. I wonder how all that tape gets there...)

And, if you forget to clean one thing, you get a presumptuously rude, impersonal email afterwards.

Here is the story of how I got this email: I took the kitchen, cleaned it, and blast! I forgot to clean the charred, burned stuff that's been on the inside floor of the oven since we moved in, and that has been there every cleaning we've had! I took the liberty of underlining the incorrect things about this email. Sent to one tenant, yet we all at this problem in common, and have been contacted about it many times. Apparently, I had a lot of problems with the outside of my oven too, and it was "disgusting" when she came in. Cleaning the oven is a very "easy" task, yet I just chose to complete "the parts that you picked to do because they were easy to do." But, obviously they didn't care that much, because they never came back to see if I cleaned it again... like, whatever.

One good thing about cleaning checks though is that when they're here you can tell them about everything that's broken in your apartment! There's a little section on the paper they give you that you report things that are breaking/broken. The only thing about this is that the broken things don't get fixed until they become a safety hazard.

When you move into your own apartment, you kind of guess that you'll have more freedom in general about how you live... but not really.

Noooow, let's talk about the laundry. First, there are only 6 washing machines, 6 driers, for our whole complex. They're all pretty old machines. They're top-load washers that become "unbalanced" during loads, so make sure you check to make sure the machine is still working every twenty minutes. The driers don't completely dry all your clothes in one run, so just buy two. Oh and also, some of the machines don't work after you pay them. Total expense for doing your one load of laundry? $3-$5. #firstworldproblems.

I understand that this is not completely Management's fault. However, the part where they forgot to keep the heat on over Christmas break so the pipes don't freeze, and then the laundry room is out-of-service for a few weeks while they fix the broken pipes, is their fault.

Keep in mind that also, if you happen to have a roommate move out, there are consequences for enjoying the extra space around.

Maybe if you lived here too and you're reading this, maybe you had a better experience. I hope so. I mean, there's a lot of things that I do like about this place. Like how it's so close to campus, and there's a dishwasher, and my room is kind of big when it's clean, and the closet is spacious, and the couches are mostly comfortable, and my roommates... buuuuuut, do I want to live here again? Prolly not...

BYU Sports

At the start of every year, BYU sends out an email to everyone advertising their All-Sports Pass. It's a magical card that gets one into every sports event on campus. BYU obviously has a lot of ulterior motives for these passes, like earning money off the people buying these little plastic cards or promoting school spirit... but really they're just trying to provide us with easy dates so we'll all get married, and like whatever.

But really, this is just a huge let down overall. Going to any BYU sports event is an emotional roller-coaster minus the dating part. 

It starts out with a lot of school spirit. We all really would LOVE for BYU to win, to cream the other team, to be great. And we believe in all our teams like we believe in the Bible, and show it in a mighty amount of school spirit.

We cheer as loud as we can, we wear all BYU attire... heck, some probably even pray for the wins! We usually do alright the first half of whatever game it is. 

Then, we'll hit the half-way mark of the game and suddenly...

And, so, we cheer louder, become more hopeful, and wish harder! But in the end, we are already disappointed.

Thoroughly disappointed. 

If only we could gamble. We could win a lot of money always betting on the other team.