Modest is Not-est

A Lesson on Modesty: Your Outsides Are More Important

            My favorite part of the gospel is modesty. I have a testimony of the importance of modesty, especially extreme modesty. I feel comforted by the fact that as my children grow up, they will be able to understand that modesty is the most important contributor to celestial glory. I know that above all else that we need to be modest “in all times, in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:9).

            In church, we believe that as long as you are being modest, it does not matter if you feel the Spirit. The most important thing is that your body is appropriately covered. It is imperative to remember that you are not being modest for yourself as a sign of respect for your own body, but in fact to be considerate to others. Other people, especially those of the male species, have no control over their own thoughts, and it is essential to their eternal salvation that the women dress modestly in order to prevent unclean thoughts from going through their heads. If they have unclean thoughts about your body, it is entirely your fault, because you are the one walking around like pornography. Put their salvation before your own; drink, break the law of chastity, do whatever you want– as long as you are dressing modestly while doing so. Bear in mind to think about ahead of time how your body is clothed in every situation, because as you move, your clothes may become displaced and show skin that is not meant to be seen. This is especially important while the deacons are passing the sacrament, because if you are a woman and they can see down your shirt as they stand over you, you become a live sex object to them while they are trying to be reverent. Try to completely control how others think- it is what Jesus would do.

            Modesty is not just a way to prevent those around you from having unclean thoughts about your body, but also to give those people a way to judge your character based on your clothing. While it is not okay to judge the actions of others, it is perfectly fine to judge others based on their modesty. 1 Samuel 16:7 teaches us to judge others based on outward appearance, not on the heart. Those who cannot dress modestly obviously do not understand that their body is a temple or that their friends’ thoughts around become unclean while around their immodesty, and it is perfectly okay to condemn them for their wrong choice in clothing. This is especially true when it comes to dressing for church. The term “Sunday best” is obsolete: girls should wear only modest dresses and men should wear only modest suits. No outfit should make your body look too good – even if it covers all the right parts – because simply looking good is also immodest, especially in the church setting. Converts should be judged based on what they wear immediately after baptism, because they should have changed their wardrobe beforehand. If you see someone who is immodest while at church, it is safe and encouraged to assume that, no, they are not struggling with an aspect of their testimony, but they instead are slowly turning into a slut. Do not associate with them at all costs, otherwise your thoughts will become impure, and you will be sucked into dressing immodestly as well. To show other people that you have a testimony and a good character, it is always a good idea to dress like a pioneer.

            I also am grateful for the standardization of modesty, so that we can all feel equal within our own bodies. You can see that modesty is the same amongst all girls, and across genders. Short girls are looked at with the same amount of disgust as tall girls while wearing a skirt higher than their knee. Girls with larger breasts can wear V-necks without an undershirt and still be modest like girls with smaller breasts. Skinny girls can wear tight clothing in the same way fat girls can. Tan girls are allowed to show the same amount of skin as white girls. Boys are sent home from stake dances when their shorts do not touch the crease behind their knees. Men are furthermore scolded while running with their shirts off in the same way that girls are criticized for running in sports bras. While hanging out at the pool, boys are not allowed to wear Speedos just like girls are not allowed to wear bikinis. Because of the blanket policy of modesty of which has no double standards, we can all save each other from having unclean thoughts and be able to righteously judge who our friends should be.

            A great example of an institution that exercises fairness in the treatment regarding modesty of males and females is Brigham Young University. The Dressing and Grooming Standards that are part of the Honor Code contains no double standards. Before taking a test, women are always asked if they have shaved their legs in the same way men are asked whether or not they have shaved their faces. Men are not allowed in the testing center or given service at the library when their shirts are so tight that you can see their pecks and their biceps are falling out. Girls can wear muscle shirts in the gym without being asked to leave. It is also wildly convenient that the Honor Code varies with season: once winter is over, it is perfectly justifiable to wear sundresses and short running shorts so you can show off your toned body modestly in the Utah desert weather. Brigham Young University is a true example of how modesty can be fairly implemented into your everyday life.

            In conclusion, I am just so thankful that we live in a society where “modest is hottest” and not “modest is not-est.” I have a testimony of being modest, especially for others. I know that I should be concerned for my own eternal welfare when those around me are dressing immodestly, and that I should be considerate to others’ eternal welfares myself by dressing modestly. I know that judging others based on their appearance is a correct principle and should be practiced, especially while fellowshipping with other ward members. I also have a testimony of the equal treatment regarding modesty within and across genders and body types. I am grateful for the Honor Code and the double standards that it does not promote. I have a sincere, strong testimony regarding all aspects of modesty, and I appreciate the blessings that it brings to my life.