The Busiest Sunday of the Month

The busiest Sunday is always the last Sunday of the month. Because not only do you usually have homework and studying still to do for the upcoming week...

 ...many people also consider it the last day to do church-reported things.

Even when you tell them you're going to be gone that last Sunday.

And then there are reports due too.

And remember, Fast Sunday is next Sunday!

And fast Sunday is always the least busy. Because everyone is busy sleeping in until Church starts (no matter what time) or eating.

Boy's Life Plan Vs. Girl's Life Plan

Who gets the short end of the stick in figuring out their life?

Why Your Friends Die After Getting Engaged/Married

We all know how it works. Your best friend gets engaged, and BAM, you never see her/him anymore.

But, coming from the engaged perspective, who's fault exactly is that? It's almost like the only time you do want to hang out with us is during the time when we are actually on a date.

The rest of the time, it's like:

So, next time you say that your friend fell off the edge of the love cliff after they got engaged... ask yourself if you maaaaybe accidentally pushed them...

Playing Chicken

There are many different kinds of games that are called "Chicken." Typically, the first one you think of is this one:

Just kidding. This one, the one you play in a pool or a lake or some other body of water.

But, people play chicken almost every single day of their life, especially in the form of living with other people. It looks like this:

Now, now, nobody be offended, we've all done this. And we've all lost at some point.

If you haven't lost yet, you need to be a better roommate.

**If you are/have been my roommate, this blog isn't about you, I promise. Look, I'm the only stick figure in all the pictures. I'm just talking about the funny game of chicken. :) **

Life is Awkward, and Then You Die

Have you ever felt awkward before? Chances are, you have, because all of life is basically awkward. Watch.
Being born is awkward.

Growing up is awkward. Remember middle school?

Graduating from high school and going to college is awkward.

Living with brand new roommates that you don't know is awkward.

Having a job is awkward when you have to tell people you don't want their shift because you already work enough...

Making new friends is awkward, especially when done via Get-To-Know-You-Games.

Making friends in class is awkward because you never know the intentions behind someone who wants to meet you...

And then being old is awkward.

And then you die.

Hence... Life is awkward and then you die.

My Mid-Undergraduate-Life Crisis

My Mid-Undergraduate-Life Crisis began with The Questioning of Every Action I Ever Did.

Which lead to inactivity.

Which lead to abnormal feelings.

When I was little, I used to think feelings were little bells inside of you that rang. When you were fine, your bells rang fine. When you were not fine, your bells were broken and rang out of tune.

After feeling abnormally for a while, it became hard to really feel anything.

And with all of this questioning, and feeling, and not feeling, I wasted a lot of time.

And then...

Aaaaand that's where I'm at.

I Am the Lord of the Flies

Once upon a time, there was a loaf of bread and an old bag of potatoes in an apartment. They were left up on top of the fridge where people couldn't really see them or know about them, unless otherwise informed about their presence by people of taller stature. Time passed, the informed roommates moved out, and the potatoes and bread were forgotten, left atop of the fridge forever. Seasons changed, and the climate changed into one that is more conducive to insect living.
One day, the front door was left open.

And so, many flies came to live in the apartment with its other human tenants.  Feeding on the very moldy bread and the very rotten potatoes that nobody knew about, the flies began to multiply and replenish the apartment.
This drove a certain tenant crazy, and thus ensued The First Massacre Of The Flies During which 25 Flies Were Smashed In 24 Hours.

The fly problem became less of a problem, as only a few were left. All thought living conditions would improve as the last flies died off. Alas, none knew that those few flies had an unlimited food source, and then the door was left open yet again. Soon, there were flies everywhere all over again, flying aimlessly all over the apartment and into the tenants' faces.

FINALLY, the food source/love nest of the flies which consisted of the gross potatoes and bread was discovered and disposed of. All that was left to do to exterminate the flies was to get rid of the ones still alive in the apartment. Thus ensued The Second Massacre of the Flies During Which Many Flies Were Brutally Smashed or Mercifully Shooed Outside.

All that can be hoped for now for these tenants is that all the flies will be gone for good, so they can live in peace and not an infested barn. And the moral of the story is to be responsible for ALL of your belongings as a roommate, moving out or in. And that I am the Lord of the Flies that does pest control. Specifically fly swatting.