As Told By Simba: Dog Tails

This... is my dog.

She is a character. As you can probably assume from her adorable face, she's pretty dang spoiled. We basically give her everything she wants and let her do anything she wants. When she was a puppy, we'd take her on walks (well, try to), and moral of the story is that she'd just try to eat anything and everything that was on the sidewalk.

I guess weird things on the sidewalk make you thirsty though. On the hot days in the summer, she just couldn't wait to cool off or drink, so she'd multitask and do them at the same time...

We tried really hard to make these walks good exercise for her... She had a lot of puppy energy and it was always good for her to get it all out. But maybe, looking at the way by which she would recover for a few hours after the walk, maybe we overdid it on occasion.

She's grown up now, so she's figured out what to eat and what not eat on the sidewalks... She's also a little bigger nowadays. Sometimes she forgets she's not a little puppy anymore.
In physics, I learned about this thing called momentum. I feel like my dog would benefit from learning about it, if maybe she wasn't a dog and could speak English and stuff... But when she was little, she used to run down the stairs like no problem (smaller mass). But now that she's big (bigger mass), she mostly slides down the stairs, onto the hardwood floor at the bottom, and straight into the wall. Well, so, with momentum, the heavier you are, the more momentum you have, and the faster you go, the more momentum you have, so combined, she has a lot of momentum, and therefore it's harder for her to stop, and we haven't even gotten to the part about stopping on a frictionless floor...

Sorry. I just took a physics final so that's what's on my mind. What I'm trying to get at here is that she has more momentum now and slides all over the frictionless floor.
My dog is also very protective of our house. Literally, people cross to the other side of the street, because she barks so fiercely at pedestrians. What pedestrians don't know is that my dog is really just barking to get their attention. Like "Hey, come be my friend!" and it sounds like a mean bark, but as soon as you go over to pet her, she's like "Hey, we're friends!" So if you were a robber and wanted to get into our house but our dog scared you, like really, there's not that much to worry about, because after you said hi to her, she'd probably show you everything inside.

And you know how most dogs sit by the table at dinner for scraps of meat or whatever? Nope, not my dog. She sits by the refrigerator, waiting for someone to pull out the whipped cream and give her a squirt. I guess she has her priorities straight.