So, this list began as a list of excuses as to why They skipped church or a church activity (like early morning seminary, mutual, ward activity...) that I heard quite frequently, in real life... And some of these excuses are pretty bad, and as I kept track of them, I decided that they needed to be shared with the rest of the world on the internet. Don't be offended if you've used some of them, I'm not judging you, and sometimes these excuses could totally be used in a legit way. But, to promote the most humor from this post, I recommend looking at each excuse as if it was used in the lamest way ever, in the most pathetic situation ever, at the most inconvenient time ever. Ready? Go.
Legit Reasons Why I Can't Go to Church
1) Had a doctor's appointment (this one was used enough that it also has an abbreviation: hada)
2) Didn’t shave
3) I shaved and the boys will be distracted
4) I need to paint my toe nails
5) I’m getting sick
6) I have family [in town]
7) I have nothing to wear
8) My bangs are too long
9) The snow is too bad
10) I didn’t fix my eyebrows
11) I bit my tongue and it’s swollen
12) I had a "thing"
13) I had to give a talk
14) I already drive to the church once a week
15) I had to pick someone up
16) I lost my basketball game
17) I won my basketball game
18) I couldn’t find my shoes
19) We had a house-showing and we had to stalk the people thinking about buying our house
20) I have dance
21) I have a zit
22) My legs are too sore
23) I'm offended
24) My nails are wet
25) I’m too tired
26) I have to clean my bathroom
27) I forgot bout daylight savings, and I'm too embarrassed to be an hour late
28) So-and-so didn’t say hi to me last week in the hallway
29) The cat kept me up all night
30) My house is a mess
31) It rained at practice
32) I was on an errand
33) I jammed my finger playing basketball yesterday
34) Went walking on water instead (AKA boating)
35) I had to observe the July 4
36) I had to take care of the puppy
**new!**
**new!**
37) It's too cold
38) Going to Vegas for the weekend
39) My friends won't be there
40) My hair's still wet
41) Can't get out of the neighborhood safely
42) I just moved and I don't know anybody there
43) We were doing field work in the Mohave desert all weekend and church is too early in the morning to wake up for
44) I have to pee
45) One side of my face is tanner than the other
46) My food baby is showing
47) They announced my personal business too soon, when I wasn't there, and now I'm offended
48) I didn't do my visiting/home teaching, and I don't want to be guilted into it on the last Sunday of the month
49) I'm going to be in somebody else's ward
50) I had to drive a family member to the airport
51) I'm tired of having home/visiting teaching shoved down my throat, so I'm going to take a breather for a few weeks.
52) We were on our honeymoon.
53) We have a free coupon off church.
54. We are celebrating July 4th in the woods, where there is no church.
38) Going to Vegas for the weekend
39) My friends won't be there
40) My hair's still wet
41) Can't get out of the neighborhood safely
42) I just moved and I don't know anybody there
43) We were doing field work in the Mohave desert all weekend and church is too early in the morning to wake up for
44) I have to pee
45) One side of my face is tanner than the other
46) My food baby is showing
47) They announced my personal business too soon, when I wasn't there, and now I'm offended
48) I didn't do my visiting/home teaching, and I don't want to be guilted into it on the last Sunday of the month
49) I'm going to be in somebody else's ward
50) I had to drive a family member to the airport
51) I'm tired of having home/visiting teaching shoved down my throat, so I'm going to take a breather for a few weeks.
53) We have a free coupon off church.
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