Ten Things that Change When You Get Married

When you get married, a lot of things change. First off, your name changes (if you so choose) and it takes forever for it to change everywhere.

Second off, "girlfriend" turns to "fiance" turns to "wife." What the weird.

Third off, you suddenly get enormously more busy for some reason that I haven't figured out yet, but all I know is that we are so busy!!

Fourth off, you get Pell Grants, because you're poorer than a baby kitten sitting in the rain in a cardboard box. That needs a home.

Fifth off, you eat more because you have a whole kitchen to yourselves that you can rightfully hog, so it's okay to take two hours to make a fancy dinner.

Sixth off, being married also gives you more authority with other adults... despite the fact that you were still an adult before you got married and should be treated equally anyways because America is all about equality and bla bla bla, but that discussion is not for this blog.

Seventh off, people treat you differently, because you're married.

Seventh-point-one off, a lot of married people only function in pairs, and pairs only. This is a seemingly unspoken rule that I didn't know about before. Therefore, when one or both pairs are separated for whatever reason, any social encounter with another person is significantly stalled and increasingly more awkward. Almost to the point where it is sexist.

Eighth off, along the same lines of seventh off, making and keeping friends is a lot more difficult. The first reason is discussed in my other blog: Why Your Friends Die After Getting Engaged/Married. It's very hard to stay friends with your non-married friends.
The second reason is because to be friends with a married couple, all four of you have to like all four of you, and that's a lot of people to like. Okay, I guess you already like your spouse. So then you both have to like two whole married people at the same time. And then they have to like you both! So being BFFy is hard.

Ninth off, all the major credit card companies suddenly want you and send you tons of mail. Which is nice, getting mail is always an exciting thing, even if it is from an impersonal bank that just wants your money.

Tenth off, you start to understand concept of Price Vs. Quality.

Refer back to Fourth off.