How I Became Every BYU Stereotype I Didn't Want to Be

When I first came out to BYU, I was quite worried about those people that they always talk about that come here... such as those girls who meet someone and three months later they're engaged. Or those guys who creep on the younger girls because they can't date anybody their own age, but they feel like they should get married right now because everybody else is doing it. Or... well, those were the only ones that I knew about then, but as I became more of a veteran than a freshman, there were other stereotypes that I began to notice. And I thought they were annoying, so I vowed to never conform to them and be like every other white BYU girl.

Welllllllll, that endeavor has failed...

First, I began to curse in creative and technically appropriate ways, just like everyone else. I used to think it was stupid. Then I thought it was funny. Then I started doing it too, because I thought it was even more funny when I did it. And what can I say? Now I've conformed- I'm a curser.

Then, I began to lose sleep, and be perpetually tired (see A College Student's Sleep Cycle). I used to think these people were so weird - like just sleep at home, for crying out loud! They just fall asleep wherever they happened to be, like they narcolepsy or something. Then, I got tired enough to be like them, and now I understand them.

This next one isn't really something I can do about... But... I just happen to not practice my domestic skill in the same way that every other girl does... I do my laundry when I'm going on my last pair of underwear. I make pancakes, macaroni and cheese, rice, and canned food for meals. I really can make food, and I really can clean and do laundry and do crafty things, and I really can patch clothes and make sandwiches. It's just that... I'm so lazy... And I choose not to...
 Well anyways, because of this fact, this one time, I was out with some friends, and we were talking about 1) college eating life and 2) how our friends are all getting engaged. This is basically what happened:

And this is how I became every stereotype at BYU (minus the Meeting Someone Your Freshman Year and Marrying Him Two Months Later stereotype).

#firstworldproblems

Lately, I've been having a lot of #firstworldproblems... Or maybe I've just been complaining a lot, or noticing the importance of my #firstworldprivileges... Anyway, one of those. So I'm going to try to put my problems into perspective.

For example, on the day of my university's rivalry football game, I was scheduled to work... Which wasn't a big deal, because I like basketball much better than football. The big deal is that I was invited to four different parties with friends very dear to me to watch said  football game, and I was unable to go because I had to be at my place-of-employment.

This ended up not being that bad, because 1) I like my job and 2) we listened to the game on the radio at work, which was a help to me, because I do not always understand what is going on when I watch football (because I'm a girl or something) and 3) we lost anyways, aaand 4) I'm grateful to have a job because some people don't, and although I've heard you can make just as much or more money begging than having a real salary, I am not comfortable with taking that gamble.

Next, I was grumpy over having cleaning checks at my apartment, because, after all, I am paying money to live here... I should let it stay in whatever condition I want. I should not have to do obscure chores, like wipe down the walls. And I should not have to clean up the leftover dirt from the previous attendants, because there is no way in heck that ALL of that dirt on the blinds accumulated during the month that I've lived here...

And then, this week is The Week That My Tests Begin and Never End Until Thanksgiving. Which means any moment that I spend not studying or doing homework or making money is technically a moment wasted/not-spent-wisely.

And while we're on the topic of school, allow me to complain about the days that I carry around $500 worth of textbooks on my back, which is a safety hazard in multiple ways.

However, the important thing to remember here is that I have an income, a place to live, a university to go to, brains to be smart, and a turtle to love me. #firstworldprivileges

You Know You're Stressed When...

Stress is this funny thing that happens when you get too busy... or you have too many things going on at once... or you're severely worried about something... or you haven't quite swung into the swing of your schedule...

Its effects are different for everyone, and they can be seen in a variety of different ways. Some people are quick to anger, and they yell a lot over stupid things. Others cry a lot. Some sleep it off, sing it off, dance-party it out...

The most obvious side-effect that I have is that I suddenly am "SO BUSY I CANT DO ANYTHING EXTRA OUTSIDE OF MY TO-DO LIST!" But that's the most obvious one. It shows itself, more commonly, in many other ways.

Sometimes, I try to take a shower with my clothes on.

Or I put toothpaste on my face instead of moisturizer when my face is dry.

I make time-consuming goals, like "One day, I'm going to run up a mountain. Now is the time to start training.

I suddenly don't like any of my clothes anymore... they're all too restrictive. And all I want to do is wear my tshirts and sweatpants and socks with my adidas sandals... Along this same line, this is when I gained a testimony of the sock bun and began to apply it to my life.

Sometimes, I suddenly lose the ability to read and spell. It's like I become dyslexic. I read things backwards and I add extra e's and s's and so on, onto words... Thank goodness for audio and spell check!!

Other times, I forget where I live, and I try to open my new apartment door with my old apartment swiper-key.

And lastly... I blog about my problems.

Hey, I Just Met You...

Hey, I just met you... and this is crazy... but we ran out of things to say... awkward maybe?

There is a moment when you meet somebody, and you go through the typical, get-to-know-you, easy, questions that you ask everybody when you first meet them. This shows that you are at least interested in meeting them and getting to know them a little bit, but once you run out of questions, you don't really have any more questions to ask because you don't want to get too personal...

This is okay if you're at a party or crowded setting where you can quickly move on to another person and ask them the same questions; however, if for some reason, you are stuck with this person you just met for any longer...

The awkwardness grows and grows... and both of you are fumbling for an excuse to politely end your first meeting.

This works if you can both leave the scene. But, once again, what if you can't leave the scene and you both keep bumping into each other!?

well?

In a situation such as this, waiting in line, you can't just make up an excuse and leave your spot in line! You're hungry and you want your food too! Thus, continued get-to-know-you conversation is necessary once more...

Sometimes, this isn't so bad if the person you are talking to is an older male at BYU, because there is one question that you can ask 95% of them that they will have an answer to, along with a few other noncommittal, not-too-personal details.

This at least saves you for a few more minutes from that awkward silence... although, if you're like me, asking these questions brings back memories of other friends on their missions...

and then ends our small-conversation again...

Being Socially Awkward

In my Sociology class, we are learning about becoming socially institutionalized. This means being socially normal, like everybody else in your society. The author of my textbook questions how a person from a socially-acceptable normal family can go wrong and be socially awkward, and then it turns right back around itself, and dares the reader to do something socially unacceptable the next time we go out.

Then, I got to thinking about how hilariously awkward life would be if you actually carried out the author's dare...

Maybe this is going too far. This isn't ever going to happen in real life.... So let's talk about socially awkward moments that do happen.

For example, remember the last time you were trapped in a conversation that you didn't want to have about something you didn't really care about? But because you are socially institutionalized, you were polite about the conversation, even while trying to disengage yourself?

and even if you do have a polite excuse to leave, it somehow makes the whole encounter awkward??

 What about being really awkward around the person that you really like? I still don't know how to conquer this one with social-normalcy...

And, I'm sure that I'm not the only one that says "hi" to people they don't actually know, thinking that they are somebody they do know, on accident. This problem has an easy, socially-acceptable solution though. Just keep saying hi to the people beyond the person you didn't know...

Then, there's the unavoidable awkward silence after you put your foot in your mouth...

But, life goes on, awkwardly or normally. Luckily, we have social institutions to keep us properly and normally socialized for the most part. And when awkward things happen, we can just blame the institution...

Dating Advice From Our Teachers

At BYU, the teachers really want you to date and get married and whatever. On the other hand, they really want you to do your homework for their class (and only their class, of course). They also realize that as college students, we are very busy young people, and we don't have a lot of spare time on our hands. So somewhere along the life of BYU, the teachers figured out that dating and homework could be combined into one, big, fun, assignment- it's like killing two birds with one stone! As a result, I get all kinds of dating advice from my teachers.

They provide us with conversation ideas...

... and activities...

... and relationship advice...

... and inside jokes to make with our significant other...

They even have ideas for girls writing guys on missions.

No matter how lame my professors' ideas are, I know that they would probably work if I tried them. Everyone here is getting married (as a result from these date ideas and advice, I'm sure), all the time. It's like something in the water.

Homework Cycle

At the beginning on the semester:

After the first few weeks pass...

A few more weeks pass... Midterms are imminently coming to get me...

Then, the midterms arrive with no mercy. "Just like the other tests!" the teachers say... That's a funny joke until you see the test.

This is where the productivity line is usually drawn and breached. For a few brief moments, I am just SO busy with EVERYTHING that I can't possible start studying until I've completed everything else that I need to do.

Finally, I get stressed out enough to begin studying, motivated enough to go take my tests, and I try my best to start doing well in school again!!

And now repeat.