Many of you might know that I got a new job recently! Many of you probably also didn't know. Well, I got a new job! I was super sad to leave my old job and super scared to start a new job mostly because 'it might be scary and hard and what if they don't like me'.
-- I also want to clear up any confusion about what I do. Yes, I have worked at 3 MLM companies now. No, I do not actually sell anything. I am not a distributor or presenter or associate that sells the product. I've worked at the corporate offices of these companies. For some reason, part of this "Silicon Slope" movement in SL/UT [oh my gosh that spells 'slut'!!! hahaha] counties also includes gazillions of MLM companies. Whatevs. So before you like unfriend me on FB or something, I work at the corporate office and I won't spam you. --
Ok, back to the story.
So, first day of work at new job:
As I am driving to work on my first day, the recruiter who got me to switch companies calls me and is like "Oh, we just found out that they actually want to fly you to a conference in LA today. Just so you know before you get there."
And sure enough, I get there, and I set up my brand new laptop and stuff, and then basically my boss is like:
And so I'm like:
And then he tells me to go home and get ready to leave. So I do, feeling super cool that I get to go to a conference with my new laptop and new job and stuff all by myself like a real adult with their shiz together. Also new company just dropped more money all in one day than I paid in one semester's tuition for me to go to this conference.
I go home, and I eat myself a nice turkey wrap with onion and chive cream cheese. I pack, and then I basically watch TV with the hubby until we have to leave for the airport. All the while, I start to feel super nauseous.
We are about to leave, when I go throw up in the toilet. So of course, now I'm freaking out.
Ultimately, I decide that that incident could have been a one-time thing, and I felt a lot better now, so maybe it would be okay and I could still go to this conference. So, Hubby drives me to the airport and drops me off. I'm still feeling fine, and I go to print out my ticket.
Ticket won't print for some reason. So I go up to the front desk, and ask for some help. Basically, they told me there was something happening with the payment still, and so I called my new company's travel agent so she could check it out. She asks me to go back up and see if they can accept a payment over the phone. I do.
And then I proceed to run to the nearest trashcan, which I actually just watched the poor janitor just take out a few minutes ago, and throw up (no, #thisisnotanannouncement). Hard core. HARD CORE PUKING.
All I can say is at least I made it to the trashcan.
Seconds after this escapade, my new boss calls me to ask me how the ticket-problem is working out. I tell him.
(Yes, those were my approximate exact words.)
He tells me to not feel bad if I have to stay at home, and that maybe if I made it to LA and was still feeling sick, then they would just fly me back home. I tell him that I would sit on this bench for a few minutes and see if I felt any better and then I would let him know. The whole time, people at the desk with whom I just spoke are still watching me.
So I sit on a bench for a bit, willing with all my will to make this sickness go away. Well, it doesn't. Travel agent calls me back, which is when I decide that I shouldn't go.
She actually feels really bad for me and is really nice, but I'm mostly just mortified and feeling nauseous. I text Hubby to turn around and come back and get me. He does, and he takes me home, where I proceeded to live (or die) in the bathroom for the next 12 hours.
Did I make the right decision by not going? Yes, audience. Yes.
After the food poisoning ran its course, I went back in to new work. Everyone was super nice about it and felt so bad that I got sick. My boss wasn't mad at all. We found out a few days later that our entire fridge was broken, which is probably why I got sick. (Fridge is now replaced. I am still suspicious of most food that is not iced.)
But here is my new identity at work, which has persisted into Week 3 now:
And while my new job has been awesome since then, this is my most embarrassing story. The End.
